Building Relationships

Recently I read an interesting article about parenting teens...

There are times in every family when rules and restrictions must be imposed, even during the teen years. But let me make this point emphatically. Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.

Family psychologist and author Dr Kevin Leman tells of the time he had to leave on a trip just a day or two before Valentine's Day. His wife, Sandy, remarked over the phone that their teenage daughter had received a letter of acceptance from the university she wanted to attend. Dr Leman decided that this event was worth some extra attention. He called a florist and ordered a dozen pink sweetheart roses for his daughter. The next evening when he called home, his daughter got on the phone to thank him from the bottom of her heart.

She said, "When I saw the delivery man at the door, I knew the flowers had to be for Mum, on Valentine's Day. But then I saw my own name on them and thought, my goodness, they must be from my boyfriend. But, Daddy, they were from you. And that was even better."

If you have teens, take time to build relationships in every way you can. Go to their games, their school open-houses. And you might think about flowers for your daughters. That expression of love will come back to you in a hundred ways, especially the next time you have to say "no" to a disappointed teen.

Get involved and be interested in our children's live. I used to ask Denise not to waste money and do not call me unnecessarily during recess-time. However, I realised that if I do not appreciate such gestures now, there will come a time where she will stop calling me. And I will be wondering who she is calling then :p

This applies to discipleship too! Rules without relationship will lead to rebellion. My mentor told me, "If I have a relationship with you, you will thank me when I correct you. But if we do not have a relationship, you will feel offended if I correct you."

A Nice Day

I love God because God gives us power and gifts. Am i right? Debbie is sleeping. shh... I am going to sleep soon. Goodnight and see you!

A Day At St. Regis

A friend bought us a One Night stay at St Regis, complete with $160 dining credits :) It was a "no holds bar" day... We decided to eat anything we want and let the children buy anything they want, no budget :) After checkin, we had lunch at Hard Rock and brought the children to Toy R Us to choose their toys :)

The handsomely decorated room features a king-sized bed luxuriously adorned with signature linens and hand-painted Chinoiserie silk wallpaper. To complement, refined elements such as Jim Thompson silk throw pillows and inviting window seats upholstered with rich designer fabrics add to the artistic composition of the room. A regal writing desk with easy access to the Internet and WiFi. Three phones are located throughout the room at the desk, bedside table and bathroom for your convenience.

Grand French marble bathroom featuring a unique free-standing bathtub as a glamorous centrepiece, separate jet massage shower, AD Norton TV innovatively installed as part of the mirror and double basins. And if you need anything else, you can call the 24-hour signature St. Regis Butlers who will be delighted to extend their bespoke service to all guests.


The outdoor swimming pool is surrounded by a beautifully manicured tropical landscape and flanked by a calming fountain. It is a paradisiacal oasis of serenity and relaxation, far from the bustle of the city below. After a few laps, we chilled out under the shade of cabanas and deck chairs.

The children did not have enough. They continued their waterplay in the bathtub, complete with entertainment :) Denise is enjoying life here!

The children went home in the evening but they joined us again the following morning for breakfast at the Brasserie Les Saveurs. Illuminated by the splendid wall of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the tropical gardens and sparkling pools, Brasserie Les Saveurs exudes classic European elegance.

Trip To The Istana

On May 1, we brought the kids to the Istana. Entrance to the Istana is free for Singapore Residents. For $2 per person, we get to tour the ground level of the Istana Building. Visitors to the Istana Building can also view a special display of selected gifts presented to the President and the Prime Minister. The most unforgettable moment is to have photos taken with President and Mrs Nathan when they come by to greet visitors. However, we left before they came to greet visitors.

I was very excited as it was mine and the children's 1st visit to the Istana. When JX was in SAS, he performed with his school band during one of the Open House.


There was even a playground corner for children. It was definitely a trip worth making for Singaporeans; but once in a lifetime unless they renovate the place.

The next Open House is on 8th August, 2010, if you are interested. Go early; the weather gets hotter and the crowd builds up at noon.

Blogging

For those of you who follow my children's blog.... Denise and Debbie are doing very well! Growing well, doing well in Pat"s and Fairfield :) The problem is me...:p I think I lost the "motivation" to continue blogging.

These few pictures are proof that they are still the same adorable and cute princesses in my life.

Denise performing at the Thong Chai Charity Show with YoungTalents

Her recent 2nd visit to the Dentist; had 3 fillings

Designed her own t-shirt during Children's Church elective program

Playing "make-up" together

Karting with Isaac @ WQest Coast Park

Attending Joey's birthday celebration @ Rid-Out Garden

Here you go, my 2 princesses!

Since Denise is starting to write and type, I will let her update her own blog...:) Stay tuned!

CHC’s New Home: Suntec Convention Centre

Much has been discussed over the cyberspace about our shift into Suntec Singapore next March, 2011. So are we "co-owners", "tenants", "investors", "shareholders"??? Instead of joining the "kaypohs", "concerned" members and other CHC members in discussion boards and forums, I decided to write my thoughts in my "own space" here...

After 3 weeks, I have SO MUCH to say! I think this is going to be looooonnngggg.... Just allow me to pour out my thoughts... And these are just personal thoughts and opinions. Btw, if you are here for updates on my kids only, you can ignore this post. Otherwise, enjoy reading!

Why do we need a 12,000 auditorium?
- We are BIG! We need SPACE!

- Have you ever questioned your friend why does he want to buy a 5 room flat and not stay in 3 or even 2 rooms flat? I have a friend who stays in a 7 rooms bungalow, not counting 2 maids rooms. His household is huge! There are 7 adults, 5 children and 3 maids living in the house. If your household is big, it makes sense to find a bigger accommodation.

- We are a 33,000 "household" and we have been living under different "roofs" at different timings. Suntec is ideal as it can house us all "under one roof".

Why spend so much money?
- Did you contribute?

- If no, why ask so much?

- If yes, have we not learnt that when we give, we give to an institution, in this case, a church. It is our attitude of giving that pleases God. When we give, we release the "ownership" of that finance and "allow" God to do whatever He wants with it. The money does not belong to us anymore. Trust that God will direct His church and its leaders to make wise decision with the finances. And even if they don't, they are answerable to God; not us. If you cannot trust the leadership, don't give.

- The general feel is most of the CHC members are happy to give. So, let's focus on rejoicing and celebrating that we are going to move into Suntec next March!!!

But the Church must be transparent...
- Sigh, transparent to who?

- If you are open to listen, then the doors of discussion and sharing are always open. But many in the cyberspace are just "always not satisfied" with the answers given. A few already have fixed mindsets and they insist that there is some conspiracy theory going on. "There must be something they are not tell us..." :(

- Hello, this is Singapore! There's COC, audit firms, URA, MCYS and other governing bodies your mind can ever imagine. We want to build a legacy for many generations to come. We are not building a church with an expiry date. Ultimately, the church is accountable to God. Trust the leadership!

Why Suntec then?
- Would you let a good deal passes you by? Many are curious and a few totally upset that CHC is moving to Suntec. I bet if we are moving to Mandai, no one will even bother... But why settle for anything less when we could "stay" in prime location? Orchard/River Valley or Sembawang? For me, central location, ANYTIME!

So are we "co-owners", "investors", "tenants" or "shareholders"?
- Sorry, but my take on this is..... WHATEVER!

- Maybe I am naive and ignorant (like what the netizens will call the majority of CHC members), the fact of the matter is, I gave to the Building Fund and prayed 5 years for a building in the Marketplace. Suntec is my prayer come true! Give me space to rejoice and celebrate! Do I go into the details of faulting "who says this" and "who says that"? Sorry, I am still rejoicing and have no time to find fault :)

P1 Sports Day

Sorry guys! I have been extremely busy.... Busy with work, busy with packing and preparing to shift, busy because the children are having their school holidays... So let me keep this short and simple.

Denise's Games Day in school took place on the last day of Term 1. The entire school hall was converted into a Sports Hall. The children represented their Houses in simple circuit games designed by the teachers. The atmosphere was "high" as the House took turns to cheer their house-mates...:)

Denise belongs to Olson House and her team-1J came in FIRST for her game. Her House "Olson" was overall 2nd :)

Perhaps she got some sports genes from her parents... Haha!

Birthday Party @ McD

Didn't bring my camera; pardon the bad pictures...

Denise attended her FIRST birthday party for 2010. Her FMS(P) classmate celebrated his birthday at McDonalds.

There were the usual stuff... Goodie bags, games and food! You can never go wrong with a McDonald party.

Fever & Visit To The Dentist

Last Saturday, Debbie had low grade fever. Eventually she developed runny nose and had to keep her from school on Monday.

Denise was "not so fortunate". She developed high fever on Sunday and had to miss school on Monday. We discovered that she had an erupting front lower tooth!

I was SUPER worried that her adult tooth will come out crooked.... Brought her to the dentist immediately! To my surprise, he advised against removing the baby teeth. He gently explained to me why...

- Denise's jaw is growing. This explains the gaps developing in her front teeth.
- When the baby tooth drops, her tongue will automatically pushes the erupting tooth forward.
- If I want to remove her baby tooth, he will have to inject anesthetic which will be quite traumatic for Denise.
- So his advise was... Everyday, use her fingers to "shake" and loosen her 2 front teeth. The idea is to quicken the process and let the front teeth drop by themselves. In the event that they are loose but not dropping yet, he can easily apply anesthetic cream to remove them, instead of using a jab...:)

So, with much assurance, I decided to wait...:)

As for Debbie, dentist advised not to remove her decaying teeth but to continue brushing them to slow down the process. She is already using a fluoride children toothpaste so that will help a lot! If we want to remove them, which is unnecessary at the moment, she might have to be under GA. As of now, the teeth are still fine...:)

Lion Dance @ Dover

We were treated to Lion Dance Performance at the Clubhouse this morning. We were surprised that so many residents came...:) Mainly people with young children though.

Debbie's CNY Performance @ Pat's Schoolhouse

Debbie had her debut public performance in school today...:) Please pardon her "nose-picking". We were 30mins late. Managed to reach just in time; about 1 min before her item!!! It was a SUPER hot day. After the performance, we stayed for the mini-carnival held at the school compound.

This is 将老师, Debbie's Chinese teacher.

This is Ms Lucille, Debbie's English teacher, who just joined the school. She is a Filipino who has 10 years of teaching experience in Bangkok, before coming here with her family. Initially I was concerned about her accent... (ops, no offence to anyone). However I was assured by the Principal, Ms Ada, that Mrs Koh is very strict when it comes to teachers selection and Mrs Koh interviewed the teachers herself.

And sure enough, everything turned out just fine! In fact, I sat in class once (because Debbie was crying and I wanted to settle her in) and Ms Lucille is good :)

Before we left, Debbie had her face painted by Ms Serene.

Chinese New Year

We had 2 family funerals in January and are not supposed to "celebrate" CNY this year. We were told that we are "not supposed" to give any red packets as we are still mourning within the 49 days period. However, we can still accept red packets from others... Hmm... What a weird tradition! It must have been started from someone that just had a funeral...:p Can receive and cannot give...:)

Anyway, the mood for celebration is still here...:) Met friends for lunch at Imperial Treasure last Wednesday. I had my first "Lo Hei".

Debbie is performing in Pat's Schoolhouse's CNY Celebration on Feb 12 (Fri). We managed to dig a CNY outfit from Denise wardrobe. It fits Debbie like a glove! Decided to add a hair clip to make her look more girly...:)

Even though we are "not supposed" to celebrate CNY, I did my Mani-Pedi, got a new haircut, bought new clothes and went to a CNY bazaar with MIL...:) The only difference is that I do not have to prepare red packets this year.

This CNY will be a stay-at-home, swim and watch TV break for all of us!

So, from Denise and Debbie to you, Gongxi Gongxi (in advance).

Spelling and 听写

Now in Primary One, Denise has Weekly Spelling and 听写. Every week, I have to go through the words with her and make sure she is well-prepared for them.

However, I have never been good at tuition. During NUS days when most of my friends were giving tuitions to earn extra income, I shunned that option as I was never known to be a patient teacher. I often got impatient after a few rounds of explaining and got frustrated when the children just did not get it!!! I kept telling myself that when it comes to teaching Denise and Debbie, I have to be patient with them.

So far, Denise has been doing well for her weekly mini-tests. She is self-motivated and has no problem completing her homework on her own. But when it comes to learning Hanyu Pinyin, I almost vomitted blood today. She kept giving reasons like she was sleepy, confused, hungry etc... I think all the above were true... BUT she has 听写tomorrow! I need her to be motivated to learn now... And I do not want to crash her confidence by scolding her, in case she ends up hating learning...:(

Sigh, the conclusion is not to revise with her the day before. Always teach a few days in advance so that she can learn a bit at a time...

God, I need patience and I need it NOW!

Denise With The Celebs

Due to the nature of our CG and work, Denise had the chance to meet some celebrities...:)

This was taken last year on Jacelyn's birthday

With Cai Aijia when she performed in our CHC Live House

Genecia, the beauty queen :)

Belinda Lee, our CG friend. She is one of the reason why Denise is hooked on the Channel 8,

7 p.m. show...:p

And of course, our very own International Artiste, SUN!!!

Adjusting To New Environment

DENISE

Denise is doing well in school. She is self-motivated and I have no problem in getting her to complete her daily homework. Initially I was concerned for her Spelling but thus far she has been scoring full marks... Cham! The kiasu-parents symptoms are showing!

She was appointed as the Class Monitress. We asked if she volunteered herself :p But she said her form teacher was the one that selected her...:) She has to give commands for the class to "stand" and helped the teacher marked class attendance during assembly etc. When I met her form teacher, Mrs Ong during the Parent Meet Teacher Session, she commented that Denise is very helpful. She will even help to sweep the floor when the floor is dirty! I remember Denise telling us that she wants to be a helpful person this year; think it is coming to pass!

Last week, she was also appointed as the 小老师in class. Her responsibilities include helping the weaker students with their homework. I think she is really enjoying school...:)

DEBBIE

Debbie, on the hand, has been crying in school...:( The week break she had because of the family funeral must have disrupted her schedule. She is still excited to go to school every morning. In fact, when I told her we are going to Pat's Schoolhouse, she will be very excited. But the moment I drop her in class, she will start crying. Debbie is already "famous" for being Denise's younger sister, but now she is also known as the "crying" one in school...:p

This morning, when I dropped her, Denise's former teacher, Ms Wendy was there. She was, as usual, so sweet... She carried Debbie and brought her to the playground to distract and calm her down. I heard the school principal, Ms Ada, even brought Debbie to Denise's former classroom to familiarise her with the new environment... Thank God for loving and caring teachers...:)

New Schedule for 2010

This year is a milestone for both Denise and Debbie. Denise starts P1 in FMS(P) and Debbie starts Playgroup in Pat's Schoolhouse.

Thus far, it has been easy getting Denise to wake up at 6.45 a.m. every morning. I will drive her to school and stay for the Morning Devotion. I will stay to at least hear the verse for the week so that I can remind her what she has learnt in school.

This is how her Morning Assembly looks like. I will drop her off and she will settle down for her Silent Reading. Every Tuesday, she will assemble in the school hall for Chapel.

For the first 2 weeks, all P1s have a P4 buddy who will help take care of them during recess time. I found out that Phoebe takes the public bus to school. Maybe by the time Denise is in P4 she can takes the public bus on her own too... (provided I feel assured of her safety...:p)

It has been easy dropping Debbie in school too! On the first day, she just waved "bye" and went to the Music Room with the teacher. On the second day, she did not even wait for the teacher, she went into the Music Room on her own. On the third day, the Chinese teacher commented that she is the happiest child in class...:)


Well, this also spells the beginning of a new schedule for me. I have to wake up at 6.30 a.m. every weekday morning for the next 10 years!!! (till Debbie graduates from Fairfield)

Farewell to our Dad and Grandpa

Last Sunday, we were woken up by a startling news. JX's dad passed away in his sleep. He was supposed to wake up at 5am for his usual morning taxi shift. However, my MIL could not wake him up. By the time the paramedic came, they pronounced him dead approximately an hour earlier...

My memory of my FIL is that he was a very quiet man. The only time I heard him talk the most was when he discussed football with JX. He used to drive us around before we bought our car. In fact, during our dating days, JX would send me home at night and his Dad would come and picked him home in his taxi. Indirectly, he was helping us to "pak-tor"...:)

The first time my FIL came to church was for the screening of World Cup 2002 at our Jurong Auditorium. The second time was in 2008 for JX's SOT Graduation. In that service, he lifted up his hands to worship God and even teared a little...:) Could see that he was very proud of JX! Without our knowledge, he told my MIL that he wanted to go to church but it never happened...

My MIL decided on having a Christian funeral. Over the 5 days, relatives, friends from everywhere, colleagues rallied around us. People took turns to spend time with us and bought food for us. Even friends from KL and Jakarta came just to shower us their love and support! We, especially my MIL, were extremely touched!

After the funeral, when JX was packing my FIL's stuff, he found a Christian tracts in the bag that he carried daily. It was titled "What is my life". And among the many pieces of papers in his wallet was a nicely folded piece of paper with a Christian verse on it. It looked like a Thank You note from a Christian wedding that he had previously attended, but he kept the verse portion!

Someone told me "God's intention is always to save". We choose to believe in God's sovereignty! The doctor diagnosed that my FIL probably suffered a cardiac arrest. We may never get an answer, but one thing for sure, he has gone to a better place and one day, we will meet him again!

Like what JX said in the eulogy: "Farewell to a good son, generous brother, faithful husband and responsible father".

Trip to KL - Food Edition

Malaysia is the real Food Paradise!!! You can easily find nice and cheap food here... Even a simple roadside coffeeshop sells fantastic dishes!

Here, we were having dinner at a small roadside Chinese restaurant with my family. The food here is awesome!!! We ordered their specialties... Nonya steam fish, Fried Bitter Gourd, Golden Tofu, Sweet and Sour Pork Ribs... Yummy! 6 dishes for 7 adults and 4 children only costs us RM$135...

After dinner, we had "Mao Shan Wang". A treat from my bro-in-law... RM$28 per kg and 4 durians cost him RM$364!!! Every ex, by any standard... But I must say, the durians tasted superb :)

At the Choongs, Fong Loo welcomed us with Patchi. They are like Godiva, Chocz kind of "chocolate"... Between FL and I, we called them "chocolate fits for royalty" because these are the chocolate that the Choongs will buy for the King and Queen...:)

Of course, for those of you that follow my tweets, we had 2nd round of durians with the Choongs. This time the durians were cheaper BUT they were equally good; those bittersweet kind that I love!!!

Before we left on Friday morning, they brought us to a coffeeshop for Dim Sum. My all-time favourite item is "wu-kok" (deep fried yam). I am NOT exaggerating but this place serves one of the BEST "wu-kok" I have ever tasted! The crust melts in your mouth and the yam is so soft that it does not get stuck in your teeth! I could not resist "tar-pau-ing" 2 boxes to Singapore! I probably ate 3 there...:)

We ate so much good food on this trip... Dragon-i; Chinese La-mian restaurant, Nasi Bryani at Bangsar, homecooked Nasi Lemak by the Choong's 3rd Aunty, Kajang satay and roti prata etc... FOOD! Enough for me to want to go back again and again!!