Building Relationships

Recently I read an interesting article about parenting teens...

There are times in every family when rules and restrictions must be imposed, even during the teen years. But let me make this point emphatically. Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.

Family psychologist and author Dr Kevin Leman tells of the time he had to leave on a trip just a day or two before Valentine's Day. His wife, Sandy, remarked over the phone that their teenage daughter had received a letter of acceptance from the university she wanted to attend. Dr Leman decided that this event was worth some extra attention. He called a florist and ordered a dozen pink sweetheart roses for his daughter. The next evening when he called home, his daughter got on the phone to thank him from the bottom of her heart.

She said, "When I saw the delivery man at the door, I knew the flowers had to be for Mum, on Valentine's Day. But then I saw my own name on them and thought, my goodness, they must be from my boyfriend. But, Daddy, they were from you. And that was even better."

If you have teens, take time to build relationships in every way you can. Go to their games, their school open-houses. And you might think about flowers for your daughters. That expression of love will come back to you in a hundred ways, especially the next time you have to say "no" to a disappointed teen.

Get involved and be interested in our children's live. I used to ask Denise not to waste money and do not call me unnecessarily during recess-time. However, I realised that if I do not appreciate such gestures now, there will come a time where she will stop calling me. And I will be wondering who she is calling then :p

This applies to discipleship too! Rules without relationship will lead to rebellion. My mentor told me, "If I have a relationship with you, you will thank me when I correct you. But if we do not have a relationship, you will feel offended if I correct you."